Instead, we were discussing the type of Cougar one is much more likely to find in an area of high population density. Defined by wikipedia as as slang term for, "an older woman, usually in her 40s, 50s or 60s who usually sexually pursue men in their 20s and 30s," The Cougar has become increasingly noticeable in recent years. The most famous example in recent pop culture would be Madonna (age 50) and the numerous rumored trysts with Yankee's 3rd baseman, Alex Rodriguez (age 32).
And while rumors of their relationship, and the simultaneous desintigration of their respective marriages, has captured the attention of gossip columnists and tabloids around the world, it is by no means an isolated incident. Television (including episodes of 30 Rock and How I Met Your Mother, and the basic plot of the upcoming sitcom, Living with Fran), and movies (Sex and the City, and The Door in the Floor, to name a couple) have also taken up the cause of The Cougar.
Social comentators, and others with greater credentials than I, describe this phenomenon as a natural result of women who grew up exposed to both the traditional role/mindset of women (get married, raise a family) and the women's liberation movement (do what you want, screw the stereotypical role society says you are supposed to fulfill) of the 1960's. They married, but are now divorced. With their age and life experience comes a sense of self-confidence (they know how to act in order to make men interested in them); the divorce(s), however, tend to create a jaded perspective or sense of skepticism when it comes to marriage or long-term commitment. Even so, they still have the physical/emotional needs of companionship and approval. These forces combine to create the perfect storm of The Cougar.
Younger men (whom shall henceforth be referred to as, "the prey") meet all of The Cougar's needs mentioned above. First, an encounter with prey maintains the ego of The Cougar by proving that "they've still got it." I hope you will forgive the crudeness, but I believe Jimmy Pop, in his poem "Three Point One Four" stated it rather well when he said, "The older they (women) are, the easier to pick up...Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture."
Second, the prey are in their prime to meet the physical needs of The Cougar. Drawing on 20+ years of exerience, The Cougar baits her prey into a casual, non-committal event, an activity the average 20-something male is looking for anyway. This allows The Cougar the physical experience, while still preserving her skepticism about commitment.
Though their hunting styles vary by the individual, it is not incredibly difficult to identify a Cougar. Some are blatantly obvious. They'll start a conversation with you by grabbing your ass while you're watching a basketball game at the local watering hole, or start a conversation with you by saying "Do you clean pools?" Others choose a more subtle approach, sometimes used by much younger women as well. Things like having a relatively normal conversation at a bar, but leaning in such a way as to offer a relatively uninhibited view of her orbs of feminine pulchritude, or insisting on being close enough to you during a conversation that there is significant contact between the Cougar's chest and her prey. They also tend to be quite fashionably dressed. Those that opt for the more aggressive hunting approach tend to dress like contemporaries of their prey--mini-skirts, spaghetti strap tops, etc.
Watch also for an effort to display a "bumper sticker" tattoo (sometimes called a "tramp stamp," though that label doesn't quite fit The Cougar), found on the lower back, near the waist line. Its presence on a woman over the age of 45 guarantees that you have met a Cougar. Tread carefully when you encounter a Cougar, young men, for you are on dangerous ground. Walk as gingerly as you would if you came across a mother bear and her cubs. That goes for both men and women. Ladies, not so much out of a concern that you will be considered prey, but that you pose a threat to their hunting.
5 comments:
That picture's bad. She's almost muffin-topping it.
Wow! The person above stole my comment! I second that!
Great column, we need to raise awareness of this disturbing phenomenon.
I do have one dispute with the definition of the cougar - many cougars do have commitment designs. My brother is one such victim.
When Cougars reach a certain desparation, they do try to trap their prey - either into boy toy status or even fatherhood (see Tom Brady) and marriage.
I disagree. I think that those seeking a relationship do not qualify as cougars. Though it is an unofficial term, I would offere "miner" as the appropriate label for them. It has its roots in the same idea as the term "golddigger," which refers to women who marry for money. While seeking a long-term relationship, or even marriage, to a younger man may, in fact, be for the purpose of gaining access to larger bank accounts, I believe more often it is an effort to meet the relational needs mentioned in the original post. Therefore, by calling her a "miner," it illustrates that she is digging for something, though not necessarily "gold" (i.e., money). I welcome your thoughts on the matter.
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